Thursday, April 9, 2009

She Harshed My Mellow

Okay I might be a weirdo (no comments from the peanut gallery) but I love to go grocery shopping. It actually relaxes me. I am not sure why I love to stroll the aisles in search of food. I love being in the vegetable and fruit section. I love to touch the tomatoes and squeeze the grapefruit. I love smelling the herbs and the onions. I love the colors and the variety.

I think it might be because the grocery store gives me hope and possibilities. Possibilities of what I can create with those ingredients and hope that I will cook up a wonderful meal that I can hoark down. If you saw me you would know I love food. I am not a skinny minny. And mainly because I love eating anything and everything. I love cooking and eating. So to go to the grocery is my idea of heaven. Just as Tom gets lost in Lowe's or Home Depot, I can roam the grocery store for hours.

Now my grocery store here isn't great but it's just fine. In my little town we actually have 5 grocery stores which is pretty amazing since there is less than 4,000 people here. I hate going when its busy and now that I am not working, I can pretty much go when I like. I think Tom is happy about that because he hates going grocery shopping and now he doesn't ever have to go. The best time to go grocery shopping in my little very religious town is Sunday morning. That's when a lot of people are at church and we heathens can go shop. Usually it's pretty empty and if people are there, you know they are heathens. We always know if we want to see our friend Karen we will find our fellow heathen at Ingles on Sunday morning. LOL

Well today I went to do my weekly shopping. And I am in a good mood because it's sunny and clear and it's so much warmer than the last few days. I was feeling great going into the store. For the most part, I am a pretty happy person. Sure I freak out sometimes and get mad and frustrated and normal stuff like that but most of the time I am pretty mellow and nice. Now don't get me wrong, I can be a really huge bitch if pushed. And don't piss me because I will take you down but usually people never cross the line. But as usual, I digress. I was in the cheese and bakery section feeling up the cheese and groping the buns when this woman comes barreling down the aisle like a bat out of hell. She shoves her cart in front of me and gives me the hairy eyeball although I am not even in her way. She nabs some hummus and storms off. Whatever. I continue on through the bakery and stop and say hello to the baker who knows me well because I always make a stop there to oogle the cakes and pastries but I never buy anything unless I am having a bad day and need to shove a cupcake down my throat.

Next stop, the veggie and fruits. Again, I am lost in the glory of the fresh produce when Ms. Thing comes by and again gives me the hairy eyeball and starts grabbing stuff wily nilly. She moves along but at this point she is starting to annoy me. She almost ran over a little old man because she was in such a hurry. Luckily, the Produce manager is there. He knows me too. So he says hello and we chat about the cilantro. His niceness calms me and I continue my trek. I go a few aisles without any trauma until I hit the frozen food section. The witch from hell is opening and closing the doors like a crazy women. She is angry and mad and I have no idea why. But at this point my mellow has been harshed and I am annoyed.

Now I am not sure if you have ever heard the phrase "Harshed my Mellow" but the first time I heard it I loved it because it said so much. I am not sure where I heard it first but I think it was from the Facebook page of Tom's nephew David. David always has the best Facebook status'. One of my favorites was "David is In Bruges." I loved that it because I think I knew exactly how he felt. If you haven't seen the movie In Bruges, I totally recommend it. Not only because it has my Irish hottie Colin Farrell but because it's a really good dark comedy. And it has Colin Farrell in it, hello!! So I think that's the first time we heard that phrase and then we saw it in a movie and again I can't remember which one but I am sure it had something to do with stoners because I checked the Urban Dictionary and it said the phrase has its origins with people who indulge in the cannabis. And that makes perfect sense. You are totally mellow and then someone comes along to harsh it. GRRR

Here's Colin (sigh) Yeah it's gratuituous, sue me. (hope Tom's not reading the old blog)

So I am now super annoyed and my shopping trip is becoming a chore and not enjoyable. But I hunker on because I needed the ingredients to make a chicken tortilla soup for tonight. YUMMO! So finally I am done with shopping and am going up to the cashier. Ms. "I am having a bad life" pulls up behind another person on line and she is twitchy and still pissy. The checker on that cash register is really slow but super nice. She is young and loves to talk. Usually I go to that lane and chat it up but since my mellow was harshed, I went to another person to get through fast. So Ms. Twitchy is starting to get angrier and angrier by the moment. Then I started to feel sorry for her because I think how sad is it to go through life all pissy at the supermarket. What is her rush? Why is she mad? And then I realize that I am not like that and I am happy that I can go to the grocery store and get what I want and then go back to my lovely little house and make a great meal for myself and I start feeling better. I guess some people just never stop to smell the cabbage or grope the bread or oogle the ice cream and that's pretty sad. It's sad because even if your day is sucky, why have to be so negative around others. We had nothing to do with her mood but she is ruining ours.

So I let it go. I look at this poor woman and hope she has a better day. But secretly I smile because she picked the wrong line and karma is a bitch!! hee Yeah, I might be nice but like I said I can be a bitch and have an evil streak from hell in my soul. :) So I pay up the bill and go to the car and stuff my groceries in the trunk and go home. I am having Chicken Tortilla Soup tonight and it's a beautiful day and my mellow has come back!


  1. Peanut gallery comment *censored*.

    My word verification, no lie!: muffl

  2. How was your tortilla? Just reading the blog got my hungry :)