Sunday, November 1, 2009

GRRR ARGH Halloween edition

When I was growing up there were rules about Halloween I thought everyone knew. I figured they still applied nowadays as well. But I guess not.

So yesterday was my Olla de Carne feast and horrorfest night. I spent the whole day cooking up a storm and by 5 the soup was ready. I lined up the flicks I was going to watch and then was ready for a relaxing night of being scared out of my pants. When the sun went down, I made sure the pumpkin was lighted up. I knew it wouldn't last long since the candle was on its last legs. Then I settled in.

Dinner was fantastic. I ended up watching Scary Movie because it was on TV and I was in heaven because that movie cracks me up every time I watch it. It is hilarious. Tom called and we chatted for a while and then I went back to watching the movie.

Now since we live in the boonies there is not that much activity here at night. The road is two lanes and you can walk there if you want but it's not safe. This neighborhood is also not conducive to walking. There are no sidewalks and it is dark. We have a few street lights but mainly it's dark. Plus it was rainy last night and not a great night to be out. But sometime around the 8 o'clock hour I am watching TV, tweeting and just kicking back and I hear steps.

Now you might have seen pictures of the house. Our driveway is the only way in unless you are walking across the neighbors lawns or climbing the little hill in front of the house. Our front door is really on the side of the house and you need to climb 3 steps to get on the porch and to the door. The stairs are right outside the living room window so you can hear someone walking up the stairs.

So I hear the steps and I am WTF? Now we have one light on at the side of the garage but that's in the side yard. Sure I had one light on and the TV but the rules say "Porch Light On" not indoor lights. So then I hear knocking. Being a horror movie aficionado I know better than to open the door but I turn on the light and look out. I see a demented Jester standing at the door. Not a little Jester but a full grown one. Luckily our door has a glass insert so I can look out with no problem.

The first thing I look at is the hands. What is he carrying, what is he hiding. Can a pitchfork, machete or ice pick be hiding under the cloak he was wearing? But alas he was only carrying a small sack. But the sack could have contained something, right? But I looked closer and it had candy. So he is like hello. So I said we have no candy because we don't get trick or treaters here at all. And he is like oh I was walking around the neighborhood and went to a few houses up the block. And I am Sorry no candy. And then he proceeds to tell me his name is Rob and he is renting the red farmhouse up the road (2 houses up) from Chip, you know Chip right? I have no idea who the hell Chip is but I say oh sure. Rob also said he has been there since the beginning of the semester which lead me to to believe that he is a Western Carolina student renting the house. I frankly don't give a damn but I didn't want to be impolite to a potential loony toon. So I am all like okay nice to meet you Rob, no candy. So he then says great okay bye. And leaves.

GRR ARGH! I am left to wonder why on Earth would you break the golden rule of Halloween and come up to a house with no lights. But I chalked it up to him being a little clueless and as a friend said maybe he had the munchies. That made sense.

So after that adventure was over, I went back to the movie and tweeting. I figured I should tweet that some creepy guy showed up at my door in case I was found dead the next day. I also emailed Tom for more insurance. A little while later I see headlights on the wall of the living room and I am again WTF? I look out the window and see a big giant truck driving into the driveway and I have no idea what is going on. In horror movies the heroine would willy-nilly open the door and say hello. Not me, I grabbed the phone to call 911. I was just about to grab the bat and make the call when I see some little people walking up the drive.

I open the door and inform the little ones no candy because the light is off. They looked like I just killed their bunny. But oh well. No candy. If I had dollar bills I would have given them some but I only had a couple of twenties - so too bad, so sad, sucks to be them. After I shattered their Halloween fun, they left. I realized shortly thereafter that I was wearing the t-shirt Tom bought me when we saw Elton John in Vegas. It's one of my favorites and it says in big letters: The BITCH is is back. I can hear the kids now: Mommy what's a Bitch. The mom: that stupid lady who gave you no candy. Whatever!

But that left me to wonder again why would you drive your kids up to a dark house and expect candy. I mean there are rules people, rules. Is it that these younger people have no idea about the dark porch rule?? It's crazy. So anyway, that was my Halloween. It was actually exciting when you think about it. I mean, we never get visitors and now we got a bunch last night. Plus it added to the intensity of the night filled with scary movies. And I wasn't killed by deranged trick or treaters. I would say a good night all around.


  1. Awesome story. I watched a movie last night called Strangers that starts off with someone innocently knocking on the door. Good thing you are smarter than Liv Tyler's character, but then again, if Liv's character was that smart it would have been a dull movie.

  2. Yeah, I thought the light rule was international.

  3. I observe the no light rule but boy oh boy! It's getting downright demoralizing just how man of those no lighters there are these days.

  4. I follow the international no light rule but it sure is demoralizing to see just how many no lighters there are these days

  5. That is so crazy! I thought everyone knew not to go to houses without the light! We usually keep the indoor lights off during trick or treat hours too because I'm afraid of what happened to you!

  6. LOL! I would NOT have opened up the door to a Jester above 5' tall. I am such the wuss.

    The porch light is the universal rule. SOme people just ignore it and play stupid.