Sunday, November 22, 2009

"There's a monster outside my room, can I have a glass of water?"

A few weeks ago it was brought to my attention that I have a bad habit of leaving the kitchen cabinet doors open. Then a few days later, I was reprimanded again for leaving the kitchen cabinet doors open. I really felt that I shouldn't have been reprimanded. I mean, sure sometimes I forget to close them but it's usually because I am in the middle of something like putting away dishes, cooking, cleaning etc.

Tom said I reminded him of that little girl in the M. Night Shyamalan movie Signs. You know the one with Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix. In the movie the little girl keeps asking for glasses of water and then keeps leaving them all over the house for no apparent reason except that she might be a little forgetful like myself. But at the end of the movie, there was a reason why she was doing that unknowingly. Water was the only thing that could kill off the evil aliens who had come down to destroy humankind.

Anyway, I still think Tom was being a little harsh until Saturday when I walked into the kitchen and proceeded to bump my head on the pantry cabinet door that I had left open. OW! Then I happened to take a good look and was appalled to see that Tom was indeed right. I had left almost every cabinet door open and I even left the dishwasher open. I had to take a picture as proof. In my defense, I was putting away clean dishes and putting in dirty dishes. I was also putting away some canned goods that were on the kitchen table where they didn't belong. I was also storing some dried chiles that a friend gave us in my spice cabinet. Then the phone rang and I had to run and get it. It was some annoying sales call. Then I saw that the Recruit was playing on TV and Colin Farrell popped on the screen so I had to watch a little of it.

Then I remembered that I was having a Twitter chat with a friend and jumped on the computer to continue the conversation. After that, I remembered that I had to do laundry so I went to retrieve it in the bedroom. I got a little distracted.

But after I bonked my head on the cabinet, I vowed that I would close all the cabinet doors before I leave the kitchen. But then I started to think that maybe there is a reason for this. As Mel Gibson says in the movie "Is it possible that there are no coincidences?"

So what if I shape up and start closing the cabinet doors and then out of the blue aliens land here in Sylva, NC. What if they then enter my house, go into the kitchen and I cannot defend myself against them because all the cabinet doors are closed? Maybe they are supposed to be open. Maybe it isn't that I am a total airhead but somehow I know deep down inside we will be attacked by aliens? Then what? I won't be able to save the world and then we are all screwed, right? Blame Tom.

Okay I will go put on my tin-foil hat now.


  1. That is absolutely hilarious! I can not believe you do that, I really can't! I'm seriously cracking up at you!

  2. That? Is awesome. Too funny! I wonder how it all started for you? Like, did you use to open them all up for fun when you were a kid and subconsciously you're reliving your days? I'm dying of laughter here though!