Monday, January 11, 2010

Well that was awkward!

So the other day, I decide that I need to get some new unmentionables. I was going to go to Walmart but decided to shop online since I had a discount code to Hanes. I love Hanes underwear. Yes, WTMI (way too much information) but I do. So I go online and look around and they have a great deal on panties and bras. I also decide to buy two bras since they were having a great clearance sale. With my discount code, I did pretty well on my purchases.

Usually the purchases take about a week maybe a little more to arrive. I never think about it until they show and/or I see the confirmation email and decide to see if the package was sent. So I went on my merry way living my life not worrying about my new bras and panties.

It snowed the other day and when we woke up there was a blanket of snow and it was pretty. When it snows I usually look out every window and the front door just to see how it looks. I went into the guest bedroom and looked out to the side patio and saw what I thought were paw prints. I went to the front door to investigate.

When I opened the door I did see paw prints. I was sure it was from some stupid dogs that run loose in the neighborhood. I hate those stinky dogs. But I hate their owners more. I mean, please people have some freaking respect for your neighbors and don't let your dogs run loose. Anyway, I looked and then I saw my packages by the side of the door! I figured the UPS guy must have gotten to the house late and just left them there.

I bring them in and open my loot. I noticed there was a pack of panties and a bra missing from the order. A lot of times they send like 50 million different packages instead of sending everything at once. Why do they do that? Anyhow, I figured it would come the next day and went on my merry way again.

A few days later we were relaxing on the sofa watching TV and, of course, I was on my laptop when someone knocked on the door. I looked over at Tom and he looked at me. We never ever ever get visitors. Tom gets ups and opens the door and I hear him say: oh yeah, thanks. The visitor introduces himself and they chat for a minute and then the mystery visitor is gone.

Tom comes back in the living room carrying what looks like a demented package that has been ripped and some stuff wrapped in plastic. Upon further investigation, I notice that it is my bra and panties. WTF? We surmised that those stupid, stinky, wild, poopy dogs came on the patio, snagged a package, carried it up the street to the neighbors house and ripped it open. Luckily, they ripped the outer package and not the bra and panties wrapping. F^$#@% dogs.

So here we were standing in the living room looking at the ruins of my purchase and then I realized that now my neighbors now what size panties and bra I wear. AWKWARD!

I hate those dogs. If I see them in the yard again, I am dumping water on them. Last year, they were in my garden and we had to move our trashcans into the garage since one day I woke up, went out to my garden and saw trash strewn all over the yard. I cursed them like the dad in A Christmas Story cursed the neighbor's dogs. It wasn't pretty and, luckily, no children were around to hear me cursing at them.

I doubt whoever owns those stinky dogs reads my blog. But if they would I would tell them to keep their stupid dogs in their own yard and a few other choice things I will not repeat here on my blog. SO now everytime I see my neighbors, I have to live with the fact that they know WAY TOO MUCH about me.



  1. I bet you turned a darker shade of your blog, huh! Good thing you didn't answer the door, lol!

  2. Are there no laws to make the owners keep them in their own yard?

    I mean it did make for a hilarious story but still....

  3. you can always kidnap them and sell them to a Chinese restaurant! LOL!

  4. I'm so sorry but that was HILARIOUS! A real "Laugh Out Loud" moment for me.

    Don't worry about it is not like you put them on and went parading around the neighborhood or used them to make a flag for your porch. It was not a purposeful act. Blame the Mercury Retrograde.


  5. Oh that is horrible.. Super funny for us but ooo I would not want my neighbors to have the much info about me...
    I'm with you about pets on leashes though.. Mine are always on leash outside and they have manners.

  6. I love Hanes too. But I sure wouldn't want my neighbour to know my sizes.......... although it is kind of a funny story.... in ten years or so.

  7. this gives new meaning to the term....panty sniffer!