Monday, January 11, 2010

Well that was awkward!

So the other day, I decide that I need to get some new unmentionables. I was going to go to Walmart but decided to shop online since I had a discount code to Hanes. I love Hanes underwear. Yes, WTMI (way too much information) but I do. So I go online and look around and they have a great deal on panties and bras. I also decide to buy two bras since they were having a great clearance sale. With my discount code, I did pretty well on my purchases.

Usually the purchases take about a week maybe a little more to arrive. I never think about it until they show and/or I see the confirmation email and decide to see if the package was sent. So I went on my merry way living my life not worrying about my new bras and panties.

It snowed the other day and when we woke up there was a blanket of snow and it was pretty. When it snows I usually look out every window and the front door just to see how it looks. I went into the guest bedroom and looked out to the side patio and saw what I thought were paw prints. I went to the front door to investigate.

When I opened the door I did see paw prints. I was sure it was from some stupid dogs that run loose in the neighborhood. I hate those stinky dogs. But I hate their owners more. I mean, please people have some freaking respect for your neighbors and don't let your dogs run loose. Anyway, I looked and then I saw my packages by the side of the door! I figured the UPS guy must have gotten to the house late and just left them there.

I bring them in and open my loot. I noticed there was a pack of panties and a bra missing from the order. A lot of times they send like 50 million different packages instead of sending everything at once. Why do they do that? Anyhow, I figured it would come the next day and went on my merry way again.

A few days later we were relaxing on the sofa watching TV and, of course, I was on my laptop when someone knocked on the door. I looked over at Tom and he looked at me. We never ever ever get visitors. Tom gets ups and opens the door and I hear him say: oh yeah, thanks. The visitor introduces himself and they chat for a minute and then the mystery visitor is gone.

Tom comes back in the living room carrying what looks like a demented package that has been ripped and some stuff wrapped in plastic. Upon further investigation, I notice that it is my bra and panties. WTF? We surmised that those stupid, stinky, wild, poopy dogs came on the patio, snagged a package, carried it up the street to the neighbors house and ripped it open. Luckily, they ripped the outer package and not the bra and panties wrapping. F^$#@% dogs.

So here we were standing in the living room looking at the ruins of my purchase and then I realized that now my neighbors now what size panties and bra I wear. AWKWARD!

I hate those dogs. If I see them in the yard again, I am dumping water on them. Last year, they were in my garden and we had to move our trashcans into the garage since one day I woke up, went out to my garden and saw trash strewn all over the yard. I cursed them like the dad in A Christmas Story cursed the neighbor's dogs. It wasn't pretty and, luckily, no children were around to hear me cursing at them.

I doubt whoever owns those stinky dogs reads my blog. But if they would I would tell them to keep their stupid dogs in their own yard and a few other choice things I will not repeat here on my blog. SO now everytime I see my neighbors, I have to live with the fact that they know WAY TOO MUCH about me.

GRRR!

7 comments:

  1. I bet you turned a darker shade of your blog, huh! Good thing you didn't answer the door, lol!

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  2. Are there no laws to make the owners keep them in their own yard?

    I mean it did make for a hilarious story but still....

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  3. you can always kidnap them and sell them to a Chinese restaurant! LOL!

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  4. I'm so sorry but that was HILARIOUS! A real "Laugh Out Loud" moment for me.

    Don't worry about it is not like you put them on and went parading around the neighborhood or used them to make a flag for your porch. It was not a purposeful act. Blame the Mercury Retrograde.

    Snicker.

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  5. Oh that is horrible.. Super funny for us but ooo I would not want my neighbors to have the much info about me...
    I'm with you about pets on leashes though.. Mine are always on leash outside and they have manners.

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  6. I love Hanes too. But I sure wouldn't want my neighbour to know my sizes.......... although it is kind of a funny story.... in ten years or so.

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  7. this gives new meaning to the term....panty sniffer!

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